Calling for her blood
by carlycarter
Summary: Kate/Juliet. Quite dark, needlessly violent and brutal, rather disturbing and horrible. Not a happy K/J fic at all. "Juliet closes her eyes and listens as the others are calling for her blood..."


A/N : This was the first ever Kate/Juliet fic I ever wrote (before I'd even seen a full episode) , and never posted because it always struck me as far too dark and ugly to see the light of day. I'm not sure what kind of screwed up person I must be to sabotage my own favourite ship in such a way, but there you go! Multiple character assasinations throughout, as well as needless violence and brutality. Read at your own discretion, I don't wish to traumatise anyone! Set around Season 3ish, Jack is dead (hooray) and Juliet has returned to the beach to live among the plane crash survivors. The "others" are somewhere unimportant! Not a very happy story at all, you have been warned.

**Calling for her blood...**

Juliet closes her eyes, and listens as the others are calling for her blood. She cant say she blames them. She actually hears them discussing the details how they are going to kill her. Some of them talk in anger, some because its simply what has to be done, for the good of everyone. Juliet thinks to herself that it should make her sick with fear, with shame, but she is empty. She opens her eyes and scans the crowd for Kate.

Juliet had to see Kate, to make her understand.

If Juliet couldn't make her understand. Maybe it was better not to see. And she closes her eyes again.

The thought of dying pleases Juliet more than the thought of living her life prisoner at the mercy of people who wanted her dead. She had been a prisoner ever since she set foot upon this god forsaken place. But things had escalated from bad to worse. And just as she found a reason, a person, to live for. Suddenly it all came crashing down around her, and death seemed like a viable option.

And so dying itself does not frighten Juliet. It frustrates her, because it means defeat. It saddens her because that hope is gone. It should frighten her the judgement awaiting her in the afterlife. Standing before God, being confronted with her sins. It doesn't. The only judgement she cares about, is not the almighty, not the angry mob who hold her life in their hands. Just Kate.

Juliet is afraid to see Kate. Afraid to see how deeply Kate now despises her, how deeply Juliet wounded her. But she tells herself it doesn't mater. She is going to die anyway. It makes no sense to be afraid.

Juliet is afraid also what will become of Kate. She tells herself Kate is strong. Kate is a survivor. Kate is good and brave and all the things Juliet is not. But how much can one person stand to lose before they just give up? How many times can you break a heart before it just stops beating? How can someone whose eyes look so dead, lifeless, empty still be walking around breathing? And she wonders if Kate has just closed her eyes and died, is that why she isn't here today, standing in judgement like the rest of them? And she imagines that somewhere, in the afterlife that she isn't sure she believes in, all this could be washed away forever, and it would be just the two of them, none of this sickening betrayal and brutality between them.

Losing Jack had been hard on Kate. On all of them. He was their leader, their hope. And they seemed almost surprised to find the world still turning without him in it. But Juliet knew from her own experience, the world always keeps turning, no matter how wrong it seemed.

Kate would have survived without Jack. She has done. These past three months she has been the strength of everyone around her. They all looked to her, and Juliet saw that it drained her. But in the dark secret moments, when Kate and Juliet were alone, it was the only time Kate allowed herself any weakness, any vulnerability. And Juliet felt privileged to be the one Kate turned to. The one to keep her going.

A strong bond had formed between the two. Something Juliet hadn't been looking for. Something she had long ago given up on, and certainly never dreamed she would find in a woman. Kate was the only one to defend Juliet at first. After the others had left, and the compound had burned to the ground, with Jack inside, people needed someone to blame, a scapegoat. And who better than Juliet? She had done nothing to earn their trust. Sayid had refused point blank to allow Juliet to return to the beach with them. '_Let her rot in the jungle, let her die slowly and painfully, the way Jack she killed Jack._'

Juliet protested her innocence, the fire had not been her fault. But she had nothing to offer, and anger and blame seemed to soothe the fear and grief, so the people turned on her. The first night on the beach Juliet wondered if she would have been better off taking her chances in the jungle? But her own survival wasn't first and foremost on her mind. She could have given up then and there, left behind again.

It was Kate who looked her straight in the eye. Who seemed to see almost into her soul. Kate who believed her innocence. Her goodness. And that felt more intimate than anything she had shared with any man in her life. Even more deeply connected than she was to her sister. Suddenly there was someone new first and foremost in her mind. Someone new she would live for, would die for. She wasn't looking for it, didn't expect it, didn't even truly want it, but Juliet found Kate became the most important person in her life. It took her some weeks to realise it for what it was. Juliet loved her. Cherished her. To the exclusion of all others, now and forever, desperately, passionately, Juliet loved Kate.

In her charismatic way Kate had won the others over to believing in Juliet. She had worked and lived and breathed alongside them, proven herself. They trusted Kate, and for the most part came to trust Kate's judgement of Juliet. Juliet knew there were one or two out there never quite on board. She would have to watch her step. But with Kate on her side, she was safe for the moment. Maybe the others would come round, maybe not. Juliet stopped caring. All she needed was Kate, and she knew Kate needed her equally.

Yes Kate survived without Jack. Unquestionably. Juliet wonders if she is flattering herself to think Kate cant survive without her? Just because the reverse is true, that Juliet wasn't capable of surviving if something happened to Kate. Perhaps Kate is stronger than even Juliet gave her credit for? Juliet hopes so. But she has seen this hidden side to Kate. Knows how close to the edge she really is, how well she disguises it. The people loved Kate for sure, but where would Kate turn to cry, to lose control, where would she put her doubts and fears? Who would hold her as she is fitfully tossing and turning in sleep, dark nightmares plaguing her mind? Juliet wondered what she dreamed about. Jacks death? The plane crash? Her mothers rejection? When she asked Kate in the mornings, she would look embarrassed, and state she didn't remember, and plead with Juliet to drop it. So Juliet would. But in the quiet darkness, Juliet would creep into Kate's tent, hold her as she cried like a little girl. Stroke her hair until she fell asleep.

Juliet remembered the moment Kate had told her she was pregnant with Jack's baby. This pure joy in her eyes. This hope. '_You're the first person I've told.'_ Kate whispered. She had wanted to wait until she was sure before she told the others. They would all be thrilled to have a legacy of Jack living among them. Jack who had saved so many of their lives along the way.

Juliet remembers that look in Kate's eyes. Remembers that she herself couldn't help smiling back at Kate that moment, her joy infectious. Remembers listening as Kate shared her news. Remembers the rapid onslaught of feelings that bombarded her. First joy at the look in Kate's eyes. Then jealousy, insane jealousy, at the thought of Kate and Jack being intimate, sharing something she would never share with Kate. Then that despair knowing she would be the one to extinguish that shining light from her eyes.

If Juliet had been thinking clearly, she would not have said anything to Kate in that moment. She would have found another way, to save Kate's life. But Juliet was overwhelmed with feelings in a way she never remembered being in her entire life. And she blurted out the truth- told Kate that no child conceived on this island would live to take a breath. That no mother survived pregnancy.

Juliet saw disbelief, confusion, finally bitter understanding cross the other woman's eyes. Then a sad smile crept across her face. 'Ok' Kate nodded.

Juliet reached her arm towards Kate, and Kate looked up at her, straight in the eyes, telling her '_It's ok. Don't cry for me Juliet. If that's how things are meant to be.' _Kate paused placing her hand across her stomach '_We'll be with Jack.'_ She finished.

This cut Juliet right through the heart, and not only discomfort in the idea that Kate would rather die for Jack than live for Juliet. But the thought of losing Kate drove terror through Juliet's heart, right through her body, every living cell inside her died a little in that moment.

Juliet knew it was a shock. Knew She just needed time to convince Kate that something had to be done to end this pregnancy, to spare Kate's life, and Juliet's soul.

'_Isn't that what you do? Aren't you a doctor_?' Kate asked. _'Didn't you just tell me that's why they bought you to this island. You'll figure something out.'_ Kate told her, full of confidence. That hope, expectation, weighed so heaving on Juliet that she could hardly stand.

She grabbed Kate by the shoulders '_Kate listen to me, I cant. I tried. So many times. I failed. And now my lab has burned to the ground, there is no hope, less than no hope.'_

Kate shook her head, shook herself free from Juliet's grasp '_Where there is life, there is hope.' _Kate told her. And Juliet could see, Kate believed it . Believed in this hope, believed in Juliet. In a miracle cure, believed this baby was the salvation of the people. But Juliet knew, this pregnancy was a death sentence for Kate. She couldn't lose Kate, the people couldn't lose her. Kate so full of life. Spirit. It could never happen.

Things escalated when Kate announced her pregnancy to the others. Predictably, they were thrilled. Beyond thrilled. Juliet saw a hope in the eyes of every person on that island. Something that hadn't been there ever since that plane crashed. Juliet tried to explain the situation. That was her big mistake. Who would believe her standing there telling them Kate is going to die if they don't do something? Who would believe it when Kate is standing there shining, glowing, telling them everything is fine, that there is hope, that a little part of Jack will live on.

Juliet pleaded desperately. It was beneath her pleading in such a manner. Where had her head gone, her plans, her brilliant manipulative ways to get someone to do the thing she needed them to do? Love had turned her brain to mush. And she realised she sounded like a crazy woman. '_Claire and her baby are fine.'_ The people said.

Juliet tried to explain; that baby wasn't conceived on this island.

No one wanted to hear her.

That night when Juliet came to Kate's tent as she always did, Kate was waiting.

_'Why are you doing this to me, trying to hurt me?' _Kate asked. It broke Juliet's heart. But at least Kate was asking. Not like the rest of them assuming Juliet was a cold calculating monster here to destroy every last one of them. Kate was asking because she was disbelieving, and that meant she trusted Juliet on some level, Juliet took comfort in this.

Juliet began again, explaining, pleading. She wasn't trying to hurt Kate, the opposite, she was trying to save her.

_'You cant play god like that Juliet. I wont sacrifice my baby, Jacks baby, all for some unfounded fear_.'

_'Isn't your life worth something to you?'_ Juliet asked. What she wanted to say was '_Aren't I worth something to you, worth fighting for?' _

_'The people need you.' _Juliet told her. What she meant was, _I need you. _

Kate raised her hand '_Stop' _She said. '_Stop it or...'_ Kate's voice trailed off.

'_Or?' _Juliet asked. '_Or what?'_

_'Or the others will turn on you, Juliet, if you keep on with these crazy notions. They will think you're trying to hurt me, hurt Jacks baby, they will kill you, don't you see?'_

Juliet laughed. So hard tears sprang to her eyes. Her own life and death so far from her mind, from her grasp. ''_You care about my life but not your own?"_ Juliet wanted to know. She silently added, _'You care about jacks baby, and my life, not your own life? Not the people who need you? If you cared so much about my life, Kate, you wouldn't dream of asking me to stand by and watch you slip through my fingers.'_

"_You need to have faith._" Kate had said to her, smiling. Believing it with all her heart. Juliet realised that Kate didn't understand the danger at all, didn't believe Juliet, which was somehow better than knowing the truth and deciding to turn from Juliet's advice.

The look of faith in Kates eyes was so intense that Juliet was almost convinced. After all she had given up on love, and now found it. Maybe Kate's survival instinct, her strong spirit, maybe she would survive, the baby too.

It would have been easier in that moment if Kate had argued with Juliet, became angry, said hurtful things, accused her of killing jack, turned against her. It would have been easier.

Juliet smiled, took Kate's hand. "_Ok." _She conceded.

"_Ok? You'll stop all this nonsense?"_ Kate asked.

"_Yes."_ Juliet answered.

Kate smiled. "_Things don't have to change, between us, because of the baby."_ Kate assured the other woman.

Juliet leaned forward and kissed her, more passionately than she had ever done. Pulled Kate into her arms and for the very last time felt Kate's soft skin against her own. For the last time ran her fingers through Kate;s hair. Inhaled deeply breathing her scent, Held on tightly just for a moment, and the world stopped.

Juliet, who had long since lost the ability to think clearly, to see consequences, to see she had lost Kate either way. Juliet who had long since lost her power to reason, to find solutions to the problem, long since lost her capacity to be anyone's saviour. Juliet who long long long since lost every shred of faith she had ever known, Juliet was overcome with fear.

Suddenly, Juliet pushed Kate to the floor, overpowering her with surprise more than force. Kate struggled beneath her, looking up to Juliet with terror, she pleaded with Juliet to stop. Kate fought hard. If Juliet had been capable of an feeling in that moment, she would have cried out with sharp pain as her shoulder dislocated from it's socket. But she had dissociated herself from all pain, all responsibility. Juliet knew only this,- she could not stand by and watch Kate die.

In hindsight, Juliet wonders if it would have been so bad? They could have made the most of their time together. Kate could have died in her arms. With love in her eyes. Maybe if she had thought it through, if love hadn't twisted her heart and her head into this useless pathetic ball of fear, maybe Juliet would have found another way. But Kate was right, it was what Juliet was here for, to save her. And there was only one way Juliet knew how.

Determination clouded Juliet's gaze, and Kate's own eyes froze over with hatred, pure hatred.

"_They were right about you all along!" _She spat in Juliet's face.

And those words cut right through Juliet- just as she thought herself untouchable, unreachable, those words sliced right through her heart. Killing the woman who was inside that living body, right in that instant.

It was all over, Juliet was dead inside already, she had lost Kate already. With her strong arm, Juliet clenched her fist and punched Kate in the stomach, hard. Again and again. Again. Until they were both crying so hard the others came running, dragging Juliet to her feet, throwing her to the ground, restraining her, rushing over to Kate side as she lay bleeding on the ground.

That was Juliet's last memory of Kate, huddled there on the ground , in a pool of blood, crying that heart wrenching sound that rang continuously in Juliet's ears ever since that night. The worst thing was that Juliet finally realised that Kate wasn't crying over Jack, or even crying over the baby. Kate was crying because it was Juliet, the one she trusted, the one she turned to for strength, the woman she loved- it was Juliet who hurt her so badly. Juliet who had taken her hope, killed her on the inside even though she may have saved her life.

Juliet realises that both she and Kate are as good as dead. Perhaps worse than dead. That they have destroyed each other completely. And there is no way back.

So Juliet opens her eyes, and anxiously waits for the angry crowd to finish the job.


End file.
